Physical Violence Therapy

We live in a world of laziness. Very few people I know even come close to reaching their full potential. Why is this?

Well, there's the usual litany of reasons. Various social and psychological disorders, substance abuse problems (generally alcohol or pot), chronic pain, lack of motivation.

Usually, people try half-baked methods to overcome their deficiencies - therapy, prescription drugs, God obsessions.

Well, I'm here to tell you of a new method I've come up with to reach your full potential. There's very little that motivates people like the threat of a good old fashioned ass whooping - or worse. You've heard of physical therapy, art therapy, music therapy... now there's Physical Violence Therapy.

Having trouble holding down a job simply because you just can't seem to find anything that truly fulfills you? My goons will threaten to break your legs beyond repair if you don't find a job... and keep it. It doesn't matter what at is - as long as your family no longer has to live beyond their means simply because you're too fucking lazy to hold a job for more than a week.

Can't seem to stop drinking or smoking pot when you should be helping around the house? What if one of our licensed therapists threaten to beat you senseless with a bag of brass doornobs? Will that help motivate you to not be such a lazy bastard?

Watch TV for hours when you should be at the gym trying to lose some weight? We've got brass knuckles and a beaker of skin melting acid with your name on them that say you'll be on your way to the gym in 60 seconds flat - or else...

You ever notice the way people spring into gear and do things they'd never do under normal circumstances like hand over their wallet and fancy jewelry to a perfect stranger when there's a gun being pointed at their head? Now you can use the powerful threat of Physical Violence Therapy to get your life back in order, maybe even overachieve for a change.

Physical Violence Therapy - because nothing motivates like a good ass whooping.